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It can be difficult to see men that look like us choose women that don't look like us. It seemed like I should be the one answering her.

Hypersexualization of interracial encounters American media dramatizes white-Black interactions with a sense of taboo that is absurd. It also manifests itself in well-intentioned but racially tone-deaf efforts at criticizing that trend.

The attempted satire is lost in the same cultural appropriation it attempts to criticize. Recognizing a trend is not the same thing as subverting it. We keep it through legislation, intimidation and hostility. We aren't all the same color, and we aren't all the same, and that's a beautiful thing. And this scenario, or a version of it, isn't unfamiliar.

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The objectification points to a society that considers women a commodity. It's a symptom when lazy media outlets would rather fall back on damaging stereotypes than do real work.

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Acutely aware of my inescapable outsider status, and in my mind, only lowering my guy's stock in the ensuing confrontation after a brief rise, white girl is plummeting! As I've gotten older, that statement has taken on a different gravity.

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Let's recognize it and make a conscious effort to think differently. The best thing I can figure out is to ask questions and respect the answers.

In short, the more we see each other as bodies, as the skin we're in, the less we truly see each other. But this was different, because I felt the person I was with was being indicted for having broken some code by bringing me, and was further being called out on my behalf. To consider perspective, and approach each woman who cares for a man who we'd rather she not with a great measure of generosity and empathy. My partner is a Black man who is honest, emotionally and financially secure and monogamous.

Of course, there are institutions keeping a lot of the negative stereotypes about Black men a reality. Our privilege isn't earned, it's stolen. And her message is legit, though I disagree with her method.

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And white privilege affords a lot of us the luxury of being able to ignore our shared history. There are statistically fewer men of color than white men. Certainly, there are plenty of white men who are incarcerated or promiscuous. This symptom manifests itself in the trend of white female pop stars using women of color as props. But now that I'm older, I better understand Nikki's position, serious dates online dating and see why white women infringing on that may feel unfair.

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